” He just needs to focus”, “she is just lazy”, ” they could do it if they tried harder”. For over twenty years I have listened to my respected colleagues describe the students that are not functioning in the public school classroom setting. I have suggested kindly, patiently, subtly a possibility that the children may not be in control of these behaviors. My suggestions not only fall onto deaf ears but I am viewed at as soft and ” too accommodating” which in turn kills my credibility helps no one.

” All kids do well when they can”, teaches Ross Greene. It is not when they want to it is IF THEY CAN.

True or false? If your student had the skills to read, wouldn’t they read? If they had the skills to add, they would add? If they had the skills to draw or to catch they would draw and catch and show you and anyone else within eye shot just how great they can do it . I promise that IF your student HAD THE SKILLS to write neatly , on the lines with correct spacing, they absolutely would write neatly, on the lines with correct spacing.. If that student had the skills to sit and listen like the majority of the class, they would. If they could pack up their stuff in an organized fashion they would….yes I know it is March, you have showed them, 100 times.

It is imperative that every single teacher, parent, therapist and administrator immediately recognize that most if not all children do not have negative intent behind their behaviors. Behind the behaviors are missing skills. What we see, what changes the culture of your classroom is a child’s inability to meet the expectations of the enviroment. The developmentally delayed undeveloped skills that they are too young to know are missing. These kids are not willfully defiant, lazy, or trying to drive you crazy.

The single most effective classroom management solution that will save your sanity and help your student is to reframe that behavior and will you see a child that does not have the skill set needed to demonstrate the ” expected “behavior in the current context. The student is not giving you a hard time, they are having a hard time. Positive reinforcement and or consequences do not teach skills. We do not punish reading or math skills into someone, we teach them the skills explicitly and practice until they are automated and generalized.

I would love to hear what you find behind the behaviors that bug you the most?

Comment below .